I'm not sure if it's the fact that I've watched way too many Law & Order: SVU episodes, or it's that I've been receiving unwanted male attention on a daily basis since I was practically a child, but either way, it has made me become terrified of being attacked and very alert of possible predators.
On a recent trip to a 24-hour grocery store, a man made me extremely uncomfortable with his leering. I was done with my shopping around midnight and while I was in the check-out line, I noticed him blatantly staring. I tried to meet his gaze with my angry 'don't mess with me' face, but he was either oblivious or he just didn't care. Since he finished and left before me, I was very cautious when walking to my car. I scanned the parking lot and was totally thrown off when I spotted him (making eye contact with me) standing next to his giant white, windowless van. He was parked two rows down from me and close to the exit of the parking lot. After I was better aware of my surroundings, I swiftly walked over to my car and began unloading my cart full of groceries as fast as I could. About midway through my basket, the man turned on his car, backed up, and started heading toward me - the opposite way of the exit. I threw everything into the passenger side of my car, left the basket, ran to get into the car, and locked the doors. The man slowed down, looked at me, and continued on.
It was terrifying, but after I settled down, I found myself wondering, "..was it all in my head? Was this just a man trying to get some late night groceries? Am I paranoid?" After reflecting and studying statistics of women who are attacked annually in the US, I came up with, "hell no I'm not paranoid." According to RAINN, 1 in 6 Americans will be sexually assaulted, 9 out of 10 people will be women, 18.8% have been black women and 24.4% "mixed race" women (*see note at the bottom). With those statistics, the chances of me being attacked are way higher than I'd like them to be.
After some extensive research, I've decided that I want to be better prepared to defend myself. It's not that I live in constant fear of being attacked, but it is a very real thing that I keep in the back of my mind. It devastates me that it is something that I feel I must worry about.
Here are some resources that I found to be helpful:
1. 7 Self-Defense Tips for Women: How to Fight Back if You're Attacked (Savvy Miss). While searching for lists of tips, I was outraged to find so many that basically said, "don't look like a victim" (i.e. don't wear short skirts and tank tops ... really? eff that noise).
2. Pepper Spray. It's only $10. If you decide to buy it, make sure not to accidentally get some residue on your fingers and then rub your eyes. It's very, very painful --or so I've heard. ;)
3. Safety Tips (She Knows) - I don't love everything on this list, but there are some good pointers.
Unfortunately my grocery shopping experience wasn't the first time I had been made to feel very uncomfortable when I was by myself at night. I've been followed, stalked, verbally harassed, cornered, asked "how much" I cost -- even recently, I was walking down a parking lot with WC contributor Michelle and we were followed and harassed by a man who would hardly take 'no' for an answer.
I've found myself to be more confident when I'm feeling alert and aware of my surroundings. Do you have any safety tips? Have you had any similar uncomfortable experiences -- if so, how did you handle them?
*I'm weary of fact sheets produced by the government, but while looking for statistics of sexual assaults on Latinas, I found that many undocumented Mexican women living in the US feel as though they can't report their assaults. I also was sad to read that on their journey to the US, many Mexican women take birth control because they expect to be sexually assaulted while crossing the Mexico-US border and don't want to become pregnant.
